Famous Funny Quotes

a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift for a guy... the plant is already dead .
-- Jay Leno

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
-- George Eliot

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say, 'That's dynamite, baby.'
-- Jack Handey

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
-- Fredrich

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

A rich man's joke is always funny.
-- Thomas Edward Brown

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
-- Jack Handey

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Lyn Karol

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
-- Agnes Repplier

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
-- Kin Hubbard

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Anthony Burgess

He who laughs, lasts.
-- John Powell

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
-- Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Points of View.
-- Agnes Repplier

Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.
-- Thomas Carlyle

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.
-- Dick Clark

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
-- Romain Gary

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
-- Roman Gary

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
-- Edward De Bono

Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of services it renders. - Oscar Firkins: Memoirs and Letters.
-- Oscar W Firkins